tuzemi: (Default)
[personal profile] tuzemi
Once I decided this week to take things easy and not strive to do a perfect diet, I just checked this morning and seem to have shed 5 lbs. Go figure, my body is getting something it needs I guess, plus my stress is dropping but also changing. Getting 10 hours of sleep probably helped a great deal too.

I'm thinking about work. I work a lot, not just at the work that pays me but also a constant stream of projects, things to learn, hell even watching shows on Netflix is "work" when I want to catch up to 5 seasons ASAP. I've always been this way though: back in junior high I was so absorbed by computers and BBSes that school was the waste of time. I used to dread the idea of working for money because nothing that paid out seemed interesting, and now after 16 years of working for money the problem is finding balance on the weekends.

The other thing I've been working on for the last five years is diet. A dozen different mixes of diet and exercise, with varying degrees of success. In the end I am about 30-40 lbs under my peak, but still about 80 lbs over my desired weight. I've decided now that my family and school put this "diet monkey" on my back. My wife asked my why I hate going home, and I finally just said last night, "It's always about weight and I'm sick of it." Supposedly there's this thing called adiposity that can take 20 years to get out of, and if that's where I'm at then I need to say fuck it and learn to live there anyway. I'm strong, healthy, and smart, there's no reason I should spend another five years just trying to eek off the next 40 lbs.

Where this is all going is: I feel much like I did a year after my first graduation when I burned out and took a full week off to just fucking chill. It was great. I slept a lot, I read a lot, I walked a lot, and I didn't care much what I ate (and ironically like now I also didn't end up eating like shit anyway). In the big picture this is probably a really good thing, I'm finally *here* in my second career. Though I always dream of getting that PhD in chemistry, I'm getting out of "school mode" and seeing this big blank wall of a future. Another irony: it's almost exactly ten years since I did it the first time.

My challenge this next year is to finally start accepting life as it is, work to be comfortable living in my skin, be the Idealist INFJ I am, and start really enjoying the journey.

Finally, we're looking at getting another cat starting next year. It can't be a black one that looks like our other baby, but I'm shooting for a kitten we can watch grow up again. Probably another girl, and this time indoor only.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-22 02:14 pm (UTC)
brisus: (Default)
From: [personal profile] brisus
Five pounds is better than nothing--just keep at it. :) Men can lose weight a lot easier than women, so be happy! ahah.

I like your challenge--go for it!

I used to have a full black cat named Bo--she was so awesome and so smart. She died when she was 9 tho. I currently have two indoor cats and I just prefer it--don't have to worry about cars and bugs as much. Easier to deal with. :)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-11-23 11:55 am (UTC)
iris: (Default)
From: [personal profile] iris
When I stopped caring about my diet as much, I also dropped 7 lbs. But, I haven't stopped caring too much. I still eat mostly healthy with a bit of junk here and there to keep me sane.


tuzemi: (Default)

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